Answer these ten questions to figure out which of the roommates you most resemble.
 
1. If you didn't like your roommate, you would...
...lock them out of the apartment. Frequently.
...sit down with them and calmly talk through your differences.
...take the high road. And I mean REALLY high. As in, "spend a lot of time in outer space."
...accidentally kick over the garbage can and let the trash sit there for a few days.
...shoot them in the back, hack them into pieces and bury them beneath the floor boards.
 
2. Your idea of the perfect work environment is...
...a locked room with no interruptions.
...a pretense to talk to pretty girls.
...a supportive boss, a fun bunch of co-workers, and plenty of challenging, but reasonably achievable goals.
...an unattentive boss, a few co-workers who look a lot like you for maximum deniability, and plenty of opportunities to slip out in case of emergencies.
...a power-mad boss, a pack of squabbling, power-hungry co-workers, and a world ripe for the taking.
 
3. If you had to describe your personal hero in one word it would be...
...machiavellian.
...meticulous.
...modest.
...a little bit reckless. (What?)
...selfless.
 
4. It's a Saturday night, you've had a rough week, and you really want to unwind. Your idea of a really good time is...
...saving penguins from killer sattelites.
...mopping. Lots and lots of mopping.
...crowding 30 strangers into your tiny apartment and cranking the stereo all the way to 11!
...building a laser in geosynchronous orbit over the South Pole and threatening to melt the cast of "March of the Penguins" into sludge unless the world's governments come together to pay you one trillion dollars.
...going to a movie with some friends.
 
5. The internet is a great source for...
..."adult" entertainment.
...discretely contacting disaffected foreign nationals with access to top secret technological devices like sattelites and lasers and sattelite-mounted lasers.
...DVDs. Who doesn't love Netflix!
...up-to-the-minute news on major disasters that might need... someone's attention.
...bleach.
 
6. You find your roommate's favorite pair of pants lying in the middle of the living room floor. Do you...
...fold them up nicely and leave them by the door to his room?
...leave them there until they start to smell?
...take them with you to the laundromat, wash them twice, take a thorough shower, and then return them?
...leave them there until they start to smell. And then point at them and laugh?
...build a giant robot to DESTROY THEM?!?
 
7. You believe that your roommate has been drinking out of your lemon-flavored power drink bottle. Do you...
...write your name on the bottle?
...spit in the bottle?
...write "I have spit in this bottle" on the bottle?
...secretly replace the power drink with a similarly colored slow-acting acid?
...secretly feel glad that you've been broken of the habit of drinking trendy power drinks and head down to the local pub for a beer?
 
8. You have a crush on someone at work. Do you...
...ask if they want to get a cup of coffee?
...glare at them until they go away?
...invite them to a big party and offer them lots and lots of beer?
...ask them out, then cancel so that you can go save penguins from killer sattelites?
Wait! "Work?" I don't get it. Do you mean, like, a lackey or something? 'Cause that'd just be weird...
 
9. Robots are...
...a coward's tool.
...more reliable than hired thugs.
...excellent butlers.
...the wave of the future!
...terrible poker players.
 
10. A man walks to work every day and takes the elevator up to his floor. When it rains, he take the first available elevator. When it's sunny, he waits for someone else to get on with him. Would this man make a good roommate for you? Why or why not?
What?
No. He seems needy. That makes me uncomfortable. I have to go be alone now.
Um. He's a people person, except when he gets drenched. Then he gets moody? Um... I guess that's okay.
Is the apartment rent-controlled?
A smaller man with an umbrella? Another "penguin" question then, is it? Hmm. If this man is who I think he is, I believe he would make an excellent roommate.